The curious case of Trump, Bibi & a Nobel peace prize

TetleysTLDR

In a grotesque parody of peace, war criminal Benjamin Netanyahu wants Donald Trump:  madman, insurrectionist, nuclear threatener, and human-rights nightmare, to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Trump, who moved the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem, cut aid to Palestinian refugees, enabled Israeli apartheid, and installed his unqualified son-in-law as Middle East 'peacemaker' did not bring peace.  He brought bribes, backroom deals, and bloodshed.  The Abraham Accords were never about justice,  just cynical arms deals between autocrats.  Netanyahu, meanwhile, is up to his neck in Gaza’s rubble and blood, having presided over a massacre that’s killed over 57,000 people. He’s now trying to whitewash genocide with a PR stunt that would make Orwell blush. Let’s be clear:

• Trump is no peacemaker.
• Netanyahu is no credible judge of peace.
• And the Nobel Peace Prize should go to people like Francesca Albanese, frontline doctors, and human rights defenders, not two power-drunk maniacs trying to rewrite history with a trophy.

This isn’t peace. It’s a piss take.

The article

In a world already suffering from terminal irony overload, Benjamin Netanyahu has managed to send the collective jaw of humanity crashing through the floorboards with his latest deranged PR stunt: lobbying for Donald J. Trump, the orange-faced insurrectionist, serial sex pest, and Mar-a-Lago mob boss to receive the Nobel Peace Prize. That’s right.  That's not a headline from some satirical site but industrial scale what-the-fuckery from a war criminal trying to distract the world.   The very same man who tried to overturn the 2020 U.S. election in a blood-and-banners coup d’état is being talked up for one of the world’s most prestigious humanitarian honours by one of the most blood-soaked leaders on Earth.  You couldn’t script this. Or rather, if you did, you’d be laughed out of the room for writing satire that’s 'too on the fucking nose'.  

Benjamin Netanyahu, currently presiding over an unprecedented massacre in Gaza that has reduced entire city blocks to rubble, has killed over 57,000 people (mostly civilians), and stands accused of war crimes by the International Criminal Court, is not exactly a credible source on peace.  If Henry Kissinger’s Peace Prize was the punchline to a bad joke, this is the post-punchline vomit into a bucket made of severed limbs and gaslighting.  So what’s the alleged reasoning behind this mind-warping proposition?  Netanyahu is trying to peddle the myth that Trump brought peace to the Middle East.  He cites the Abraham Accords: normalisation agreements between Israel and several Gulf dictatorships, as 'historic' achievements that 'transformed the region'. What he doesn’t mention is that these deals had nothing to do with peace and everything to do with weapons sales, surveillance technology, and uniting autocracies in mutual disdain for Iran and the Palestinians.  And they are far from united. 

Trump didn’t bring peace to the Middle East.  He brought bribes, backroom deals, and betrayal.  The Abraham Accords didn’t end wars.  They bypassed the central issue of the Israeli occupation, sidelined Palestinian voices entirely, and offered petty despots like Mohammed bin Zayed and Mohammed bin Salman a golden ticket to Western approval in exchange for nodding along to apartheid.  It seems so long ago now but we shouldn't forget it was Trump that gave the green light to the move of the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem, recognising the city as Israel’s capital in blatant violation of international consensus and UN resolutions.  He cut off aid to Palestinian refugees through UNRWA, giving Netanyahu carte blanche to ramp up settlements and shoot-to-kill policies with impunity.  He put Jared Kushner, his gormless son-in-law and property shit, in charge of Middle East peace.  That’s not just an insult.  That’s actively off the scale deranged.

What followed was four years of cynical power plays, appeasement of tyrants, and the emboldening of Israeli ultra-nationalism to levels not seen since the darkest days of the Nakba.  And now Netanyahu, trying to claw back some fig leaf of legitimacy after being labelled a war criminal by the ICC, wants us to believe Trump was a peacemaker?  That’s like recommending Tony Blair for a humanitarian award because he once hugged a child while launching missiles.  

This isn’t just historical revisionism: it’s an Orwellian hall of mirrors. In this world, up is down, war is peace, and genocide is a diplomatic triumph. Netanyahu, a man who’s spent decades sabotaging the two-state solution while maintaining an apartheid regime from the river to the sea, is suddenly pretending to care about 'regional stability'.  Well fuck-a-doodle-doo Bibi.  The only peace he seeks is the quiet of submission under rubble.  

And Trump? Trump is the last person on Earth who should be anywhere near the word 'peace'.  This is a man who threatened nuclear war on Twitter, who referred to fallen U.S. soldiers as 'suckers' and 'losers' who oversaw a border policy that involved ripping children from their families and putting them in cages.  His entire political project is based on rage, division, and vengeance.  He didn't want peace.  He wanted a brand deal.

And what does the U.S. do to people who actually deserve the Nobel Peace prize:  wel they sanction them of course.  See TetleysTLDR: We need to talk about Francesca

So let's compare the two:  it's quite frankly chalk and cheese.  It's comparing a human wrecking ball to a decent human being.  Trump is a documented liar, demagogue, and convicted felon who built his career on narcissism, fraud, and division; the other is a principled international legal expert with a consistent record of defending human rights under immense political pressure.

Trump: a case study on corruption and deceit

Proven lies and dishonesty

Donald Trump lied over 30,000 times during his first presidency, according to The Washington Post's fact-checker. These lies covered everything from crowd sizes to election results, and they weren’t harmless, many were designed to mislead the public, stoke division, or undermine democracy.

Convicted Felon

In May 2024, Trump became the first former U.S. president to be convicted of a felony, found guilty on 34 counts of falsifying business records related to hush money payments. This wasn’t an anomaly but part of a pattern: he faces multiple indictments for attempting to overturn the 2020 election, hoarding classified documents, and inciting the January 6 insurrection.

Abuse of Power and Corruption

Trump used the presidency for personal enrichment. From charging the Secret Service to stay in his hotels, to pushing foreign diplomats to stay at Trump properties, he blurred the line between public office and private profit — what some scholars have labelled textbook kleptocracy. 

Racism and Authoritarianism

Trump began his political career pushing the racist 'birth' conspiracy about Barack Obama, and ended his presidency encouraging white supremacists, attacking civil rights protesters, and attempting a coup after losing an election. His admiration for dictators like Putin and Orbán underscores a deep hostility toward democratic norms.

Francesca Albanese: a model of integrity under fire

UN Special Rapporteur on Human Rights in the Occupied Palestinian Territories

Francesca Albanese is a trained international lawyer, appointed by the United Nations Human Rights Council to monitor and report on violations of international law in the occupied Palestinian territories. Her role demands impartiality, rigorous evidence-gathering, and fidelity to international legal standards, which she has consistently demonstrated.

Courage Under Fire

Albanese has been the subject of smear campaigns, especially from Israeli officials and pro-Israel lobbying groups, for speaking uncomfortable truths about apartheid, collective punishment, and the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians. Yet she has stood firm, stating:

"My job is not to please governments. My job is to apply international law and document violations. The facts are there for all to see."

Academic and Legal Integrity

Unlike Trump, Albanese doesn’t operate on slogans or manipulation. Her work is based on legal scholarship, UN conventions, and international jurisprudence. She writes detailed reports, grounded in fieldwork, which are submitted to the UN and scrutinized by legal experts and diplomats worldwide.

4. Consistent Ethical Compass

Albanese has condemned human rights violations across the board, not just by Israel, but by Hamas and other actors too. Her guiding principle is the universality of human rights, not tribal loyalty, not nationalism, not political convenience.

Integrity? Polar opposites

But this move isn’t really about Nobel prizes. It’s about propaganda. Netanyahu is trying to rescue his legacy with a cynical PR stunt.  Trump wants to wash the blood off his spray-tanned hands before November.  And both men understand the sick power of spectacle in an era where truth is optional and memory is short.

The Nobel Peace Prize, for all its checkered past, is supposed to stand for something. Not much, granted, it has been given to war criminals before, but at least there’s some vague idealism at its core.  Giving it to Trump would destroy even that last shred of credibility.  It would be the ultimate desecration. The final insult.  There are thousands of human rights defenders, whistleblowers, nurses, doctors, and aid workers around the world who risk their lives every day for peace.  Trump risked a golf game. Netanyahu risks nothing but someone else’s children.

So no, Bibi. You don’t get to launder your atrocities through Stockholm.  And Trump doesn’t get to rebrand himself as a dove while promising to round up immigrants and start World War III if he wins again. 

This isn’t peace.  It’s a piss take.  And the fact that we even have to write this down, out loud, in 2025, just shows how far through the looking-glass we’ve truly gone.

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