_{TetleysTLDR: The summary} 

The idea of Tony fucking Blair heading a transitional Palestinian government is obscene. This is the man who lied Britain into the Iraq war, cheer-led the destruction of Afghanistan and Libya, and used his stint as Middle East “peace envoy” to enrich himself while Palestinians suffered. Now, Blair’s own institute has been linked to grotesque plans to, erm, 'redesign Gaza' as a 'rump Riviera': luxury resorts and artificial islands built on Palestinian ruins, with talk of 'temporary relocation' or even paid exile for Gazans.  This isn’t reconstruction, it’s re-colonisation dressed up as development.  Blair isn’t a saviour; he’s a war criminal and a snake-oil salesman for empire.  His return proves the West doesn’t want Palestinian liberation, it wants Palestinian management.  Blair belongs in The Hague, not Gaza, and any attempt to launder his record is complicity in genocide.

_{TetleysTLDR: The article}

Right lets run through this Theatre of the fucking absurd

You know, writing a blog about current affairs, it tends to turn into a loop of common themes.  There's the genocide in Gaza, the Rise of the far right, how insane the US has become and how monumentally shit the Labour Party are.  Some things simply write themselves.  But every now and again something happens that make even a seasoned cynic like me step back at the sheer whatthefuckery of it.  

And here we are. Twenty years after the Iraq catastrophe, after Afghanistan, after Libya, after every single so-called intervention that left the Middle East in tatters, the Western establishment is dusting off their favourite war criminal and floating him as the man to govern Palestine, like some modern Day Herod, possibly without the worm infection. Tony fucking Blair.  Yes that Tony fucking Blair, the same Blair who strutted alongside George W. Bush and dragged Britain into an illegal war that killed hundreds of thousands of Iraqis (Chilcot Report, 2016), the same Blair who covered for Israeli war crimes and grinned while Gaza was pounded to dust is now being spoken of as the head of a transitional Gaza government (Guardian, Sept 2025). Through the fucking looking glass doesn’t even cover it, this is empire laughing at us while it grinds its boot into the faces of the Palestinians.

Blair is not some neutral elder statesman parachuted in to steady the ship. He’s the arsonist being handed the keys to the fire station.  His entire record in the Middle East is a train-crash litany of devastation:

• Iraq: Blair ignored intelligence, lied about WMDs and signed Britain up to Bush’s imperial crusade. The Chilcot Report concluded there was no imminent threat from Saddam Hussein and that Blair exaggerated the threat  to justify war (Chilcot Report, 2016).  The result? More than 200,000 Iraqis killed, millions displaced, the rise of ISIS.
• Afghanistan: Blair was gung-ho in dragging Britain into a war that chewed up Afghan civilians for two decades, only to end in chaos and Taliban resurgence.
• Libya: He cheered on NATO’s intervention, which left the country in ruins, armed militias to the teeth, and opened up slave markets.
• Quartet Envoy: After leaving office, Blair was parachuted in as Peace Envoy (yes you read that right) for the Middle East Quartet.  What, and I mean this sincerely, the actual fuck?  Of course he achieved precisely fuck all for Palestinians but managed to line his own pockets by brokering deals with Gulf dictatorships and Israeli business interests (Guardian, 2015).

This is the piece of shit of a man now being suggested as the Palestinians’ transition leader. That’s not diplomacy, it the fucked up international cabal of cunts that run the show royally taking the piss.

And it gets worse. Blair isn’t just floated as governor.  His outfit, the Tony Blair Institute for Global Change (TBI), has been caught sniffing around plans to redesign Gaza itself as a capitalist wet dream.

• Documents leaked earlier this year revealed a Gaza economic blueprint, dubbed the 'Trump Riviera', developed by Israeli business figures with backing from US consulting giant BCG and chatter with Blair’s institute (Guardian, July 2025).
• The plan pitched artificial islands, high-tech corridors, luxury resorts, and 'reconstruction zones': the kind of neoliberal Disneyland that makes developers salivate while the dispossessed are shoved into exile or shovelled into the foundations.
• Some drafts even floated temporary relocation of all Gazans during reconstruction, with the promise of return or property rights later. Translation: exile first, empty promises after (Guardian, Sept 2025).
• Other iterations suggested offering financial incentives for up to a quarter of Gaza’s population to resettle permanently abroad: a thinly veiled plan for ethnic cleansing (FT, July 2025).

Blair’s team denies authorship of course, but admits TBI staff were in the WhatsApp groups and calls where this monstrosity was drafted (Guardian, July 2025). Translation: they were up to their fucking necks in it.  This isn’t reconstruction. This is re-colonisation.  This is bulldozing what remains of Palestinian life and replacing it with beachfront condos, resorts, and investment opportunities.   Blair is the fixer.  The salesman.  The colonial governor in a fucking designer suit with that fucking grin that is begging to meet with a fast moving 9 iron.  Now that would make pay per view. 

The sheer obscenity of it is staggering. Palestinians, after decades of dispossession, siege, and massacre are being told their transition will be overseen by the man who helped set fire to their region, and their reconstruction will be designed for profit, but of course not for them. This isn’t liberation. This is management.  Blair is the West’s perfect candidate: obedient to Washington, adored by the Israelis, bankrolled by Gulf royals and dripping with neoliberal bullshit about good governance.  He is not a saviour.  He is a predator and Britain’s political class fucking love it.  Starmer’s Labour worships Blair like a demi-god, and would happily see him back on the stage if it keeps their Atlanticist and Israeli owners smiling. The Tories drool at the chance to outsource responsibility to a man who already proved he’ll say whatever Washington wants.  And the Americans? Christ, they’d crown him Viceroy of Gaza tomorrow if they could.

Let’s be absolutely clear: Tony Blair should not be running Palestine.  He should be on trial.  His fingerprints are all over some of the worst crimes of the 21st century.  That he is even being floated for this role tells you everything about how little Palestinian sovereignty means to the so-called international community.  This is empire rebranding occupation as peace.  It’s ethnic cleansing marketed as urban regeneration.  It’s a colonial boot polished up with a Blairite grin.  Tony Blair is not a transitional leader.  He is a fucking war criminal and if Gaza’s future is being shaped by him and his capitalist cronies, then we are not through the looking glass — we’re in a hall of mirrors where every reflection is empire smirking back at us through that bastards cheesy fucking grin 

So what the hell are we supposed to do about this.  It's clear this cannot and must not happen. 

1. Expose Blair Relentlessly. Every time his name is floated, drag his record into the spotlight. Remind people of Iraq, of Chilcot, of his blood money consultancy. Do not let him be rebranded as a statesman.  The man is a weapons grade cunt.
2. Target the Tony Blair Institute. If TBI is mucking around in Gaza blueprints, it must be treated as part of the colonial machinery.  Name them.  Shame them.  Protest outside their offices.
3. Pressure Labour. Starmer’s cult of Blair is shameless, but rank-and-file members, unions, and the wider movement must demand an end to this idolatry.  No one with Blair’s record should be anywhere near Palestinian politics, or for that matter ours.
4. International Solidarity. NGOs, charities BDS, and grassroots groups must make Blair toxic, just as they’ve done with Elbit Systems and other profiteers of occupation.
5. Demand Justice. Blair belongs in The Hague. The movement for Palestinian freedom should not shy away from demanding accountability for the architects of war crimes, especially this fucker.

Because if we don’t stop this, Gaza will not be rebuilt as a home for Palestinians, it will be redesigned as a gated community for investors, a monument to Blairite neoliberalism, and a graveyard for Palestinian self-determination.

Blair isn’t a neutral manager.  He’s the living embodiment of Western imperial arrogance,  a piece of shit snake oil salesman who wrecks nations, then rebrands himself as a healer.  The very idea of a bastard like Tony Blair running Palestine is a sick joke.  It proves the West doesn’t want Palestinian liberation, it wants Palestinian management.  And who better than Blair: the man who turned British politics into a consultancy racket, who sold Iraq for oil and contracts, who will happily flog Gaza’s ruins, and its huge gas reserves, to the highest bidder?  

The empire is laughing.  The bulldozers are warming up and Tony fucking Blair is sharpening his smile.  We either resist this grotesque pantomime, or we accept Gaza’s future as a neoliberal theme park built on mass graves.  Blair doesn’t belong in Gaza.  He belongs in a dock. And until he gets there, we should treat every attempt to launder his name as exactly what it is: complicity in genocide and shielding a war criminal.  

And pillar box mouth can fuck off as well. 

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