Who knew? Turns out God is a bit of a shit
They say if God didn't exist it would be necessary to invent him.
For millennia, believers have worshipped a God who, by the Bible’s own account, behaves like a petulant cosmic tyrant: fragile, thin-skinned, violent, and morally erratic. Even worse, His most ardent followers past and present, have used His name to justify slavery, genocide, misogyny, homophobia, child abuse, and war, claiming divine approval for their cruelty. From inquisitions and witch burnings to modern-day hate groups waving Scripture like a weapon, the legacy of 'God’s will' has often looked more like a license for savagery than a path to salvation. If this is the being at the center of the world’s biggest religion, then it’s worth asking, not just why He’s worshipped, but how anyone dares to call Him good.
Now look, there are some really decent people who have faith and who believe in this shit, but to be honest, they're fighting an uphill battle against the ones who are complete knobheads - of which there are great multitudes
The God of the Tanakh doesn’t so much rule with love as he does with fear and fire. In a tantrum He kills nearly every living creature on Earth in Genesis 6–8 because He’s disappointed in His creation which clearly for an all powerful God appears to be a bit of a fuck up. Using a flood as a divine etch-a-sketch is a decision that makes every genocidal dictator in history look restrained by comparison. He hardens Pharaoh’s heart in Exodus (Ex. 9:12), only to punish him for it with plagues that culminate in the mass murder of innocent Egyptian children (Ex. 12:29–30). This is a pattern, not an exception. His laws, supposedly holy, read more like a brutal legal code from a Bronze Age warlord. Disobedient children are to be stoned (Deut. 21:18–21). Women who aren’t virgins on their wedding night are to be executed (Deut. 22:20–21). Slaves can be beaten within an inch of their lives without penalty (Ex. 21:20–21). Rape victims are forced to marry their rapists (Deut. 22:28–29). This isn’t moral guidance: it’s systematic cruelty codified as sacred.
Then there's the whole can of worms about His chosen people. If He made man in His image then why is He so fucking picky? And yet God’s commands to His chosen people aren’t about peace or justice, they’re about ethnic cleansing. In Deuteronomy 20:16–18 and 1 Samuel 15:2–3, God orders the Israelites to wipe out entire populations, including children, infants, and animals. These aren’t metaphors or allegories. These are divine commands to kill, pillage, and destroy. Imagine any other figure in history issuing those orders, we’d call them war criminals. When God does it? We call it righteousness. And fuckers in Israel are still using this codex to this day.
Some argue the New Testament cleans things up. Enter Jesus, the 'Prince of Peace.' Except of course He isn’t. In Matthew 10:34, Jesus says: “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” He promises division, even within families. In Luke 19:27, He tells a parable where those who reject His reign should be slaughtered in front of Him. Jesus also speaks more about hell than heaven. The punishment? Eternal torture, not just for murderers or rapists, but for anyone who doesn’t believe (Mark 9:43–48, Matthew 25:41–46). Infinite punishment for finite disbelief, an eternal tantrum over hurt feelings.
What makes it worse is that the most devout believers have often been the worst perpetrators. The Crusaders slaughtered thousands under the cross. The Inquisition tortured heretics with sanctified cruelty. Slaveholders in the American South quoted Ephesians 6:5 and Colossians 3:22 to justify human bondage. Women have been silenced in churches for centuries using 1 Timothy 2:11–12. Homosexuals have been persecuted using Leviticus 20:13 as a club. And today? Christian nationalism grows under the same warped banner, using Scripture to justify racism, sexism, transphobia, and authoritarian politics.
Christians often insist that God is loving but this love is conditional, coercive, and backed by threats of eternal suffering. To quote the film Dogma, it's 'worship me or I'l fucking spank you' Worship is demanded, not invited. Obedience is enforced with violence. Doubt is met with damnation. The God of the Bible doesn’t offer love - He offers submission and subjugation.
If this deity were a character in any other story, say a king, a boss, a father we’d call him out for what he was: abusive, tyrannical, and unworthy of respect. But wrap Him in divinity, and somehow, people kneel.
I just want to ask one question: If the Bible is to be taken seriously, why would anyone worship suj a nasty POS as God? He really is a piece of work. And if His followers continue to use that God as a license for hate and violence, then maybe it's not atheists or skeptics who have the moral issue here. Maybe it's the faithful who should be held to account.
So as it's Sunday here's a list of verses where God, according to the biblical text, takes actions that could be seen as violent, destructive, or morally troubling.
1. The Flood – Global Genocide
Genesis 6:5–7:24
God drowns every human (except 8), and every land-dwelling animal on Earth, because "the wickedness of man was great."
Mass extinction by divine decree.
2. Tower of Babel – Language Confusion
Genesis 11:1–9
God confuses everyone's language because they dared to unify and build a tower.
Petty punishment for human ambition.
3. Sodom and Gomorrah – City Incineration
Genesis 19:24–25
God rains down fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah, killing everyone, including women, children, and animals.
Tactical nuke for sexual immorality and hospitality issues.
4. Lot’s Wife – Salted for Looking Back
Genesis 19:26
Lot's wife is turned into a pillar of salt for the crime of glancing back at her burning home.
Zero tolerance policy. A bit harsh.
5. Egyptian Firstborn – Mass Infanticide
Exodus 12:29
God kills every firstborn in Egypt, from Pharaoh’s son to slaves' kids and livestock, to 'prove a point.'
Collateral damage to make Pharaoh wind his neck in
6. Red Sea Drowning – Egyptian Army
Exodus 14:26–28
God drowns the entire Egyptian army after letting them chase the Israelites.
Classic bait-and-flood execution.
7. Golden Calf Incident – Internal Massacre
Exodus 32:27–28
God commands the Levites to kill 3,000 Israelites for worshiping a golden calf.
Religious purge by divine order.
8. Nadab and Abihu – Fire from Heaven
Leviticus 10:1–2
God kills Aaron’s sons for offering 'unauthorised fire' during worship.
Messed up the ritual? Instant death. Fuck you sons of Aaron
9. Elisha and the Bears – 42 Kids Mauled
2 Kings 2:23–24
God sends two bears to kill 42 boys for mocking Elisha’s bald head.
Deadly overreaction to playground insults. Fucking hell, how fragile must Elisha have been? If being bald bothered him so much he could have just wore a fucking hat.
10. Korah’s Rebellion – Earth Swallows Families
Numbers 16:31–35
God opens the ground and swallows Korah and his followers alive, then burns 250 others.
Corporate punishment, divine style.
11. Plague for Complaining – 14,700 Dead
Numbers 16:49
God sends a plague that kills nearly 15,000 Israelites for griping about Korah’s death.
God's got thin skin. Fragile divinity at it's finest.
12. Midianite Massacre – Genocide + Virgins Taken
Numbers 31:1–18
God orders Israel to kill all Midianites: men, boys, and non-virgin women. Virgins are kept alive for the soldiers.
State-sponsored war crimes.
13. Burning Israelites for Whining
Numbers 11:1–3
God burns the outskirts of the Israelite camp because people complained.
Divine arson due to bad vibes.
14. Fiery Serpents for Complaints
Numbers 21:5–6
God sends venomous snakes to bite and kill people for whining about food.
Death by cobra for bad Just-Eat reviews.
15. David’s Census – 70,000 Dead
2 Samuel 24:10–15
God kills 70,000 Israelites because David took a census He didn’t like.
Miscount = mass death.
16. Uzzah Touched the Ark – Instakill
2 Samuel 6:6–7
Uzzah tries to steady the Ark of the Covenant, God kills him on the spot.
Trying to help? Zap! WTAF??? Makes the Nazis in Indiana Jones look like they got off lightly
17. Job – Divine Torture Bet
Job 1–2
God lets Satan ruin Job’s life:kills his children, takes his wealth, covers him in boils. Just to win a bet.
Human suffering as cosmic entertainment. What a pair of wankers.
18. Ananias and Sapphira – Lied, Died
Acts 5:1–11
God strikes down a couple for lying about money.
Fraud = fatal. Donald Trump better watch out
19. Drowning the Whole World (Again?)
Revelation 6–19 (apocalyptic visions)
Future destruction on a global scale: plagues, blood oceans, mass slaughter, hellfire, divine wrath turned up to 11.
"Loving God" literally goes biblical on the survivors He made in His image.
Wow. It's very apparent that the Sky Fairy has issues. But this is not even the start of it: how about us putting a spotlight on the morally suspect, problematic, or downright brutal commands and laws attributed to God in the Bible. These aren't about direct acts of divine violence, but about God ordering or legislating actions that, by modern ethical standards, raise serious red flags. I'm not going to sugar coat this, it's a bit shitty:
1. Kill Your Disobedient Kids
Deuteronomy 21:18–21
If a son is stubborn or rebellious, the parents can bring him to the elders, and the town is to stone him to death.
Teenagers beware. God is a smiteful fucker.
2. Burn Your Daughter for Being a Whore
Leviticus 21:9
If a priest’s daughter becomes a prostitute, she must be burned alive.
Because sex is shameful and shame must be cleansed with fire?
3. Genocide on Divine Command
Deuteronomy 20:16–18, 1 Samuel 15:2–3
God commands Israel to completely annihilate entire cities and peoples (Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Amalekites), including women, children, and animals.
No survivors policy. Ethnic cleansing with holy backing.
4. Forced Marriage to a Captive Woman
Deuteronomy 21:10–14
If you capture a woman in war and find her attractive, you can take her home, shave her head, wait a month, then marry her. If you tire of her, just let her go.
Stockholm Syndrome meets divine consent.
5. Marry Your Rapist
Deuteronomy 22:28–29
If a man rapes an unbetrothed virgin, he must pay 50 shekels to her father and marry her: no divorce allowed.
The punishment is forced marriage... for her. At least Katie Perry and Billie Piper could get divorced.
6. Cut Off Her Hand – No Mercy for Ball Defence
Deuteronomy 25:11–12
If a woman grabs a man's genitals to defend her husband in a fight, her hand must be cut off. No pity.
Stand by you your man = instant mutilation. A bit harsh
7. Kill Non-Believers or False Prophets
Deuteronomy 13:6–10, Deuteronomy 17:2–7
If someone suggests worshiping other gods, even your own family, you're to stone them to death.
Religious freedom? Nope. Death.
8. Kill Anyone Who Works on the Sabbath
Exodus 31:14–15, Numbers 15:32–36
Breaking the Sabbath is a capital crime. One man was stoned to death for gathering sticks on a Saturday.
God’s calendar > human life.
9. Beat Your Slave, Just Don’t Kill Them Fast
Exodus 21:20–21
If a slave is beaten with a rod and dies immediately, the owner is punished. If the slave lingers for a day or two, it’s fine because “the slave is his property.”
Bible-sanctioned slave beating.
10. Kill Gays
Leviticus 20:13
'Man lying with a man as with a woman' is called an abomination and punishable by death.
Classic verse weaponised to justify anti-LGBTQ violence.
11. Women = Property in Every Sense
Exodus 22:16–17, Numbers 30:3–16
Daughters are under their father’s authority, wives under husbands. Men can nullify women’s vows. Virginity is a commodity; rape is a transaction.
Patriarchy with divine endorsement.
12. Animal Sacrifice for Sin, Regularly
Leviticus 1–7
Animals are to be ritually slaughtered and burned to appease God for sins, regularly and with great specificity.
God loves a good barbecue, apparently.
13. Kill Witches
Exodus 22:18
“Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.”
Used to justify centuries of witch hunts and burnings.
14. No Crippled Priests Allowed
Leviticus 21:16–23
Men with physical deformities (blind, lame, disfigured, hunchbacked, etc.) may not approach the altar.
Anti DDA Ableist divine hiring practices.
15. Stone Adulterers
Leviticus 20:10
Both the man and woman caught in adultery must be put to death.
Death penalty for bad bedroom decisions. I hope they let them get dressed first.
16. If You Touch a Woman on Her Period – You’re Unclean
Leviticus 15:19–30
Menstruation makes women unclean; anything they touch is unclean; anyone who touches them is unclean.
Have these people not heard of femfresh and soap? Divine biological discrimination.
So there we have it - in the Old Testament God has some serious fucking problems that He projects on the poor sods He made in His own image, and especially it seems His so called chosen people.
Fast forward to the New Testament and this is often held up as a kinder, gentler counterpoint to the Old Testament’s brutality. In fact Jesus is usually portrayed as a walking embodiment of love and peace. But if you dig deeper, even the New Testament is fucked up. It is full of questionable, morally complex, disturbing, or flat-out contradictory teachings, especially if you remove the halo and take the text at face value. Here's a few bits of of New Testament where Jesus or God (or the apostles) say or do things that, by modern ethical standards, would raise eyebrows, flat-out alarms and some serious red flags
1. Jesus Didn’t Come for Peace, But a Sword
Matthew 10:34–36
“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”
Jesus says He will turn families against each other, father vs. son, mother vs. daughter, over belief in Him.
Divine family-wrecking as a spiritual test.
2. Eternal Hell for Unbelievers
Matthew 25:41–46, Mark 9:43–48, 2 Thessalonians 1:8–9, Revelation 20:10–15
Hell is described as eternal fire, darkness, or torment: reserved not just for the wicked, but for people who simply don’t believe.
Infinite torture for finite disbelief.
3. Jesus Kills a Fig Tree for No Reason
Mark 11:12–14, 20–21
Jesus is hungry, finds a fig tree with no fruit (out of season), and curses it. The next day it’s dead.
God of the universe loses his shit on a plant.
4. Mass Pig Suicide (Demon Transfer)
Mark 5:1–13, Matthew 8:28–34
Jesus sends demons from a possessed man into 2,000 pigs: who then stampede off a cliff and drown.
Collateral damage: 2,000 pigs dead to heal one guy.
5. Jesus Talks More About Hell Than Heaven
Matthew 5:22, 10:28, 13:42, Luke 16:19–31
Jesus warns about hell constantly, using terms like 'weeping and gnashing of teeth' and 'fire that is never quenched.'
New Covenant, same eternal damnation.
6. Jesus' Parable of the Slaughtered Enemies
Luke 19:27
“But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them, bring them here and kill them in front of me.”
Part of a parable, but the point is clear: reject the king (Jesus) = brutal death.
Sounds more mafia than messiah.
7. Clear Out the Temple With Violence
John 2:13–16, Matthew 21:12–13
Jesus flips tables, whips animals and men out of the temple in a rage.
Holy tantrum meets street justice.
8. Hate Your Family (Seriously)
Luke 14:26
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children… he cannot be My disciple.”
Often softened in translation, but the Greek word is miseo — literally “hate.”
Family values, am I right?
9. Harsh Judgment on Cities That Don’t Believe
Matthew 11:20–24
Jesus says cities that rejected Him will suffer worse than Sodom on Judgment Day.
Believe or end up in an afterlife that resembles Skegness and Blackpool
10. Paul: Obey the Government — Even Evil Ones
Romans 13:1–7
Paul says all authorities are put in place by God, and resisting them is resisting God.
Used to justify submission to tyranny, slavery, and fascism for centuries.
11. Slaves, Obey Your Masters
Ephesians 6:5, Colossians 3:22, 1 Peter 2:18
Slavery isn’t condemned in the new testament: it’s normalised. Slaves are told to obey with fear and sincerity, even to cruel masters.
Jesus liberates souls, not slaves.
12. Women: Be Silent, Submit, Don’t Teach
1 Corinthians 14:34–35, 1 Timothy 2:11–15
Women must be silent in churches, cannot teach or lead, and must submit, because “Adam was not the one deceived.”
Eve’s punishment gets eternalised.
13. Kill the Lying Christians (Ananias & Sapphira Redux)
Acts 5:1–11
God kills two church members for lying about a donation. No trial, no warning, just drop dead.
Divine enforcement for tax fraud.
14. Eat My Flesh, Drink My Blood
John 6:53–57
Jesus tells followers they must eat His flesh and drink His blood to have eternal life.
Literal vampiric language in spiritual context, freaked out even ancient followers. At least he didn't offer them mayo.
15. Apocalypse Porn (Revelation)
Revelation 6–20
Jesus returns drenched in blood, slaughters unbelievers, rules with an iron rod, unleashes plagues, monsters, and global destruction.
Lamb of God? More like End-Time Warlord.
So welcome to the New Testament: raw and contextually uncomfortable. Yes, there’s beauty and compassion, but the wrath, violence, absolutism, misogyny, and tribalism still linger, just with better PR more poetic packaging.
It would be amusing if so many people didn't take this shit seriously
Seriously though, the modern-day behaviour of Israel’s hardline leadership and the American Evangelical Right makes a twisted kind of sense when you trace it back to the theological roots laid out in the Bible:
The Israelis claim divine entitlement to the land. The Zionists use the bible like a fucking real estate contract. The claim to exclusive ownership of the land stems from verses like Genesis 15:18 and Deuteronomy 7, where God allegedly gives Israel the land and commands the destruction or expulsion of its native inhabitants.
This creates a modern political mindset where occupation, apartheid-like policies, and military aggression are not just state actions, they’re seen as divine rights.
When Palestinian civilians suffer, many justify it as part of God’s plan or “defence,” echoing the Old Testament conquest model: “We’re God’s chosen, so whatever we do to secure the land is righteous.”
And as for American Evangelicals see the Bible not just as sacred, but as political marching orders.
Their support for white Christian nationalism, anti-LGBTQ+ laws, subjugation of women, and even climate denialism is rooted in Scripture.
That's why they're in a fucking death cult. They believe in the Third Temple dispensationalist prophecy, where supporting Israel at all costs (even through war crimes) brings Jesus back sooner (cf. Revelation + premillennialism).
They weaponise Romans 13 ("obey authority") to support authoritarian figures — as long as those figures enforce biblical morality.
Their view of freedom is freedom to dominate: ban books, control women's bodies, enforce prayer in schools, all in the name of a God who once killed children in Egypt and thought slavery was fine.
When people believe they’re executing God’s will, no amount of logic, compassion, or human rights will deter them. They’re not wrong about the Bible’s content, it does encourage this kind of behaviour if taken literally. That’s the danger. It's not "bad religion" corrupting good Scripture. It’s a deeply violent, tribal Scripture giving moral cover to bad behaviour.
And lets be honest. It's all bullshit. The Bible is far from an original document. It's a stitched-together anthology of older Near Eastern myths, tribal war stories, and ritual power plays — written, edited, and re-edited by priests and rulers who had every incentive to control minds, justify conquest, and enforce hierarchy.
Before Yahweh, There Was El, Baal, and the Divine Soap Opera
Yahweh wasn’t even the original god of the Israelites. Early texts show them worshipping El (the head god of the Canaanite pantheon) and Asherah, his consort. Yahweh shows up as a storm god and warrior deity, just one of many regional gods (see Exodus 15:3, Deuteronomy 32:8–9).
Over time, Yahweh gets merged with El, absorbing other gods’ traits like Baal’s weather powers and Molech’s fiery wrath. The Israelites didn’t start as monotheists, they were henotheists (one god above others), gradually retconning their theology into monotheism to consolidate religious authority.
The Bible is a celestial Game of Thrones where Yahweh kills off the competition and rewrites history.
Jesus: Myth by Committee
The Jesus we’re handed today is a composite character, sculpted from earlier dying-and-rising gods like Mithras, Horus, Dionysus, Osiris, and Tammuz.
- Virgin birth? Common in pagan myth.
- Resurrection? Check half a dozen mystery cults.
- Twelve disciples, water into wine, ascending to heaven? All found in pre-Christian mythology.
- His teachings? A mix of Jewish apocalypticism, Stoic philosophy, and recycled folk wisdom.
The Gospels themselves contradict each other, were written decades after the supposed events, and reflect theological agendas, not eyewitness truth. And Paul, who never even met Jesus, hijacks the message and turns it into a cosmic blood cult based on vicarious human sacrifice.
Heaven and Hell: Carrots and Sticks for the Gullible
The concept of heaven and hell as eternal destinations is nowhere in early Jewish thought. It evolved over centuries, borrowed from Zoroastrian dualism and Greco-Roman underworld lore.
“Hell” is a mistranslation of Sheol, Gehenna, and Hades, none of which originally meant eternal torture. But once people bought it? Perfect tool for manipulation. Obey and you get paradise. Disobey and you burn forever.
It’s not salvation — it’s psychological hostage-taking.
The Real Hell Is Here on Earth: And It’s Run by Fundamentalists
While billions wait for divine justice, the actual hell is right here: wars, corruption, bigotry, climate collapse,all accelerated by people who cling to Iron Age fairy tales as if they’re sacred truth.
- Women’s rights gutted because of Paul.
- LGBTQ+ people persecuted because of Leviticus.
- Science denied because Genesis said the world is 6,000 years old.
- Entire elections, genocides, and foreign policies driven by end-times fantasies from Revelation.
The Bible isn’t just outdated, it’s actively dangerous in the hands of those who take it literally.
One final thought. We don’t need prophets, priests, or holy books to be moral. We don’t need ancient war gods telling us who to love, what to believe, or how to live. And we sure as fuck don’t need Bronze Age bullshit to justify 21st-century oppression. There is no heaven, no hell: just one planet, full of people, some of them kind, many of them assholes, and far too many using scripture to make the world worse. Let’s grow up. Burn the myth. Keep the compassion. And start holding gods, and their followers, accountable.
John 11:35
